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by Guster
Summary: This is my first fanfic, so constructive criticism is welcome. This takes place after the second Nicholas episode, and before Meet The Dupes. M/L
1. Default Chapter Title

Disclaimer - I do not own Roswell. I do not own any of the characters (although I wish I owned a certain someone).

Please tell me if you want me to continue.

Rating –PG

Summary – This is my first fanfic so constructive criticism is welcome. Takes place after the second Nicholas episode (sorry I don't know the name of that one), and before Meet The Dupes.

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It's been a little over a year now, but I still feel it happening. I died then, but he saved my life, and I still feel him flowing through me. Now I feel as though I am dying once again, but this time he isn't going to save me. He won't want to save me.

I know I betrayed him by not telling the truth, but I couldn't tell him. I can never tell him. I promised him that I wouldn't tell, but I also promised we would always be together. Now I have to decide what's more important, love or life?

Maria knows, which makes my burden easier to carry, but still… I feel so guilty. 

Liz looked up from her writing. 

"Oh God." Liz started sobbing violently. "He doesn't deserve this. He did nothing to deserve this."

"I have to tell him!" Liz started to go out the window but stopped when she saw who was there.

"Max?! What are you doing here?" As soon as she saw him she stopped crying and tried to wipe away all the evidence of what she was feeling. 

"I sensed your pain." 

His eyes were full of tears, and seeing her almost made him collapse.

"Please go. I can't talk to you now." Liz pleaded. But Max wasn't listening. He was looking into her eyes, and he saw the pain she was in.

Liz couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face.

"Take my hand." He urged, tears no longer welled up in his eyes. "Please help me to understand."

"I can't, I promised."

"Who did you promise?!"

"You."

That single word sent him to the ground. Liz took his hand and kissed his forehead. All her thoughts and emotions flowed into him. He knew her torture, and he knew what his own self had made her do.

"I am so sorry." Max said kissing her face.

"It wasn't you, Max. He was different, not who you will now become. Because of what happened, the future has been changed. You won't be him-"

"-But he is who I want to be. He came from the future where we were together. Without you I'm not whole, and any future of mine that doesn't have you in it, isn't really mine."

"Your destiny is with Tess, Max, not with me. You know that, and I don't want to have the fate of our world or yours to be responsible for. Don't worry, everything will be okay."

Even as she said this, she didn't believe it. Nothing would be okay. Without Max, Liz knew she couldn't live, but if she was with him… no one, no one at all would live.

"I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. If we tell Tess she won't leave. She'll know how important she is, and how much we need her." Max pleaded.

"No Max, that can't happen. We can't tell her." 

Liz was trying so hard to be strong. To stop her voice from quavering, and stop the tears from flowing. Telling Tess was exactly what she wanted to do, but she knew that couldn't happen. Liz knew what needed to happen.

"Max, you need to go. Right now. This is wrong; we can't let this happen. You know that, and I know that."

"I am not going to let you push me away again. We are supposed to be together. I've known that my entire life. I've loved you my whole life. Nothing will ever change that."

Max was yelling now, but he didn't care. He sank to his knees and broke down. Liz was doing all she could to make herself leave, but she couldn't stand to leave him there.

"Liz please… I need you."

He took her hand and forced her to see an image Liz never thought she would see.

*_Max was alone in his room. He was crying, and she knew it was because of her. Something in his hand caught her attention. It was the pocketknife she had given him for last Christmas. As she watched him, the image of Max cut his wrist._ *

Liz broke the connection, and looked down at Max's arm. She had been so upset, she didn't even notice the bandage he had on.

"Please Max. Tell me you didn't-"

Max looked her in the eyes and nodded sadly.

"Save me. Heal me."

To Be Continued… 

Any questions, comments, no. Well if you do, write a review. Also if anyone has any ideas for a name for my story, I'll take suggestions, but if one really sucks you can be sure I won't use it.

P.S. Flames very welcome. 

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	2. The End

Disclaimer - I do not own Roswell

Disclaimer - I do not own Roswell. I do not own any of its characters. If for some strange reason I someday do own them or the show...You owe me.

Rating - PG

Summary - This is my first fanfic so constructive criticism is welcome. Takes place after the first Nicholas episode and before Meet the Dupes.

Sorry for the delay in this part's release. Thanks to those who gave names, but I'm just going to leave it. It's not going to be a long story, this is the end of it.

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Liz couldn't speak. She couldn't breathe. She was so scared, but what he had said...

"Max?"

He saw it in her eyes. Pain so great, but yet she could feel nothing. Everything was blurred, everything but the image of Max. In her mind she saw it happening over and over again. It swallowed her, eating away at her soul.

"Liz, I'm sorry, but this was the only way."

"The only way for what! Max, I...I don't know what to say." The only strength she had left failed her. She was numb. 

"I'm in you Liz. I'm part of you now."

"No...no, I don't believe this. This isn't happening! God, Max what did you do?!"

"In the Crashdown, when I healed you-"

"In the Crashdown, you saved my life Max, nothing more. I'm talking now. Why did you do that?"

"But something did happen. I couldn't feel it then, but I do now...There's this little part of me that stayed. It will always be there, always within you...It's keeping us together, keeping us connected."

"Why are you acting like this? Why did you do this?!"

"To keep us together, Liz. If you heal me, you'll always be with me. Then no one, whatever my destiny is supposed to be, will come between us. Not Tess-"

"I cannot do that. If we're together everything's done. End of story, close the book. There is no way to stop that. Telling Tess is not going to stop that."

"But it will. Everything will work out."

"No, Max, it won't. Tess will still leave, she won't understand. She won't believe. Don't you get it Max...she's here for you. Only you. You and nothing else."

"Then I'll tell her to go to Hell." So much anger and frustration was in his voice. Liz had never seen him like this, and it scared her.

"Sure Max. I'm sure that will help the situation. 'Hey Tess, go to hell. I don't love you and never will.'"

"Liz you know what I mean."

"Yeah I do...Go to the hospital Max. Go where people can help you. I'm through."

As Liz started to step through the window, Max fell to the ground. No longer did he have the strength to stand. 

Through clenched teeth he yelled to her,"It's too late. To them I'm gone. Only you can save me. By the time they got here, I'd be dead."

Liz came back, and sat down beside him. She took his arm. "What if I can't...what if I'm not able to...I might not have enough of your power...what if I hurt you?" This thought made Liz cry once more. "Max, I don't know why, but I'm really scared."

"Liz look at me. You have to look at me."

Their eyes locked, and Liz felt something warm at her fingertips. Once again they were connected, and Liz saw Max...she saw that picture of him again. Max alone in his room, but this time, she heard what he had been saying in whispers.

_'I will always love you. I will always love you. Nothing can change that.'_

Over and over again did he say that, never once letting himself feel the pain.

Breaking the connection, Liz looked down at Max's arm. It had healed. She had been able to heal him.

"Max, I...I don't know what happened."

"You don't have to say anything." With shining eyes he continued, "Now there's no turning back. I will always love you."

"Max, no one can know about this. No one can know what just happened." Though still in shock, Liz found the strength to smile at him.

"We flow through each other now, Liz. Just know, no matter what happens, we'll always be together. I'll know when you need me, and we'll be able to feel each other always."

"I know. I welcome it, but nothing can really change. To them we're the same as we've always been. That's for the best, you know that...I need some rest and so do you. Go home Max, I'll see you later."

Before turning to go, Liz looked in his eyes. Never in her entire life, would Liz be able to explain the feelings she saw behind them.

"Thank you Liz. Thank you for the only thing I'll ever need."

_Today I changed my life. I changed both our lives. I did something I can't explain. I used to be able to explain everything. I could explain things before I really knew who Max Evans was. I don't know anything anymore. I am happy with this ignorance. Now I can concentrate on the important things. I am learning everything anew, everything but who I am. I know nothing, nothing but who I am. I am Liz Parker...and I am an alien._

I hope you enjoyed this story, and again I would like to say how sorry I am it came out so late. Please e-mail me at demonchildbehr@bored.com with your opinions of this fanfic.


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